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Honest, rigorously researched, and hopeful, this book deserves a place on every survivor’s shelf.— Kirkus Reviews

A survivor of sexual trauma and intimate partner violence, Dr. Tammi Slovinsky interweaves her own experiences as a victim advocate, educator, and gender-based violence researcher in this poignant memoir that examines social and cultural factors such as the powerful influence that family and peers may have on survivors both during and after a traumatic experience. She reviews the impacts trauma can have on intimacy and commitment, substance use and dependence, parenting and pregnancy, and more. She hopes to help others understand the various ways trauma impacts us, and to find pathways to resilience, growth, and hope.

Someone You Love Needs This Book

Image of front cover of book, created by the author. It shows a colorful tree with the title.

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Cover art by Tammi Slovinsky

Additional Reviews...

...There were some things brought to light that I had never thought about before or necessarily associated with SA trauma. So some of this was rather eye opening and definitely leads me to some self introspection on things that resonated with me in a way I’d never thought of before..." —Ciara Hartman, NetGalley Reviewer "...Extremely difficult but highly important subject matter. Some of the book was hard to read but absolutely worth delving into to broaden reader understanding. I can see this being a very valuable reference/resource for those in advocacy work and working in the wider systems that support people who have faced sexual violence. Certainly a book I would be interested in revisiting in the future also."—Alicia McTeggart, ​NetGalley

Endorsements: Experts in the Fields of Trauma and Gender-Based Violence

“Tammi Slovinsky’s memoir is a profound testament to her incredible courage, as she bravely shares her personal journey through trauma, inviting readers to engage in an intimate exploration of their own experiences. Her vulnerability not only sheds light on the complexities of healing but also provides a powerful mirror for other women who may see themselves in her story, inspiring them to seek the support and services they need. This important work is bound to expand the conversation around rape culture, fostering greater understanding and empathy in a society that often remains silent on such critical issues.” -Renee E. Williams, Esq., CEO at National Center for Victims of Crime “This book is both a personal reckoning and a professional revelation. It captures, with unflinching honesty, how sexual violence shapes not only a survivor’s life but also the very systems designed to protect them. As a career prosecutor, I believe deeply in the justice process and its essential role in pursuing truth and accountability. Yet, as this work so powerfully shows, true justice begins with listening to survivors and understanding the complexity of their experience. It is a courageous and profoundly human exploration of living, healing, and finding meaning after trauma. Through reflection and insight, the author challenges readers to see how personal experiences, culture, and institutions intersect and how empathy and accountability must coexist. In that, it succeeds brilliantly.” -Nancy Oglesby, Co-Founder of Justice 3D “When we consider violence against women, there are so many systemic factors and personal consequences to consider. Slovinsky approaches this reality with a trauma-informed lens, a deep understanding of structural causes, and an intersectional approach. While she connects her writing to academic research, she also lets us into her personal connections, offering insights and hope.” -Christine Gibson, MD, MMedEd, DProf, author of The Modern Trauma Toolkit: Nurture Your Post-Traumatic Growth with Personalized Solutions, Co-Founder of Safer Spaces Training and the Belong Foundation, Clinical Assistant Professor at the Cumming School of Medicine, Faculties of Family Medicine and Psychiatry, University of Calgary “In The New Normal: Life After Trauma, Tammi Slovinsky masterfully weaves the science of trauma and research with the lived experiences of survivors of gender-based violence. Drawing on decades of expertise in victim services and her scholarship on systemic trauma, Slovinsky illuminates the many ways survivors navigate institutions that too often retraumatize, while simultaneously shaping the paths to healing and justice. Her work reveals not only the profound personal impact of trauma but also the threads that bind it to communities, systems, and those who labor within them. Rather than treating trauma as an exception, Slovinsky offers a roadmap for understanding it as part of the lived reality many carry. By grounding research in narrative, she challenges us to normalize those realities—not by minimizing them, but by reshaping the systems and supports around them to be responsive, just, and humane. This book invites us to see trauma not as an outlier but as a common experience that must shape a reimagining of how we serve, advocate, and build communities of care.” -Bridgette Stumpf, CEO and Co-Founder at Volare (formerly Network for Victim Recovery of DC (NVRDC)) “In her memoir, The New Normal: Life After Trauma, Dr. Tammi Slovinsky takes the reader on an insightful, at times painful, look at how her experience with familial abuse and neglect and as a survivor of sexual trauma shapes her life personally and professionally. She skillfully weaves her personal experiences with a wealth of statistics, research, and resources for other survivors and victim service professionals. Tammi extends grace to those in her life who harmed her and to herself as a survivor.” -Diane Alexander, Nationally Recognized Victim Advocate “As a practitioner in the field of victim/survivor services for over 40 years, I have read a great deal by survivors and professionals in the field. This memoir was unique in its remarkable ability to weave together the personal, the professional, and the academic in such compelling, thought-provoking, and resonant ways. Writing about personal experiences is daunting; the author was nothing short of awe-inspiring in their ability to honestly and courageously give voice to the trauma and victimization they endured. Chapter by chapter, the book invites the reader into the complexities of lived experiences and life-affirming discoveries. It challenges us to be mindful of our own direct and indirect trauma as we seek to empower survivors, indeed all of us, to find our own paths to safety, healing, and justice. And through it all, we are given the gift of powerful messages that remind us that hope, post-traumatic growth, and resilience are possible.” -Janet E. Fine, M.S., National Victim/Survivor Advocate, consultant and trainer, and author of several works including, “A Complete Healing?” in Heartspace II: Real Life Stories on Loss and Renewal, C. Brooks Edwards (ed.). “Slovinsky's powerful tome combines her personal experience as a survivor and the experiences of other survivors whom she has helped, with a decade of rigorous research that demonstrates the immediate, short- and long-term impact of sexual assault. Her emphasis on pre-existing and developmental factors that affect victim/survivor trauma and mental health challenges is very important. And the power of her personal story validates evidence-based support strategies for survivors, including peer support and services that are victim/survivor-centered and trauma informed. I highly recommend this book for sexual assault survivors, and all who serve them.” -Anne Seymour, National Crime Victim Advocate in Washington, DC “Having served as a law enforcement officer for 40 years, I have always admired displays of courage. Courage comes in all forms, and in this book, Tammi is courageous in sharing her very personal experiences. I have worked with and known Tammi for a while. After reading her shared experiences, I now truly understand and value the passion, understanding, and empathy I have personally seen her share with survivors of sexual violence.” -John Venuti, Associate Vice President for Emergency Services and Public Safety for VCU and VCU Health, Police Chief (2010-2025) RET. “The author beautifully shares her story while offering heartfelt encouragement and practical tips for a survivor’s healing continuum. This book deeply resonated with me, inspiring reflection on my own trauma and grief and reminding me of the importance of ongoing self-care along the journey.” -Shawntee Wynn, LCSW “The New Normal: Life After Trauma reflects the integrity and wisdom I’ve come to respect in Dr. Slovinsky’s work. I was struck by the narrative’s openness and Dr. Slovinsky’s willingness to share her own journey towards healing. Grounded in research and compassion, The New Normal offers an honest yet hopeful vision of life post-trauma. Reading this as a clinician, I was reminded of why compassionate, shame-free dialogue is essential in our work to support survivors. This is a must-read book for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the full lived experiences of survivors.” -Dr. Christine Strasser, PsyD, LPC, Clinical Psychologist & Sexual Assault Specialist “Dr. Slovinsky offers a sincere and insightful memoir that blends personal experience with evidence-based research. This powerful combination of storytelling and scholarship helps readers recognize that they are not alone and that their experiences are shared by many in our society. Her account also reveals that healing is possible through deeper understanding of one’s circumstances and their connection to the wider world.” -Mary Vail Ware, BSW, MSW, former Director of DOJ Office for Victims of Crime Training and Technical Assistance Center, current Director of Community Safety for the New Hanover Community Endowment “‘Is this normal?’ If you’ve ever wondered whether what happened to you, how you responded, or the choices you continue to make are normal after experiencing trauma, The New Normal: Life After Trauma offers the clarity and compassion you’ve been seeking. Through a powerful blend of gripping personal memoir and expertly researched scholarship, Dr. Slovinsky shares heartbreakingly relatable stories from her own healing journey after sexual trauma. Her narrative is interwoven with current and compelling research that sheds light on how survivors—and those who love them or work with them —can better understand the complex ways our bodies and minds respond to and recover from trauma at individual, community, and societal levels.” -Abigail H. Conley, PhD, Professor of Counseling, Co-author of Wellness Counseling: A Holistic Approach to Prevention and Intervention “Slovinsky’s The New Normal: Life After Trauma offers a rare and powerful glimpse into the dual world of a survivor who is also a victim services advocate. While many who work in the field of trauma recovery carry their own histories of pain, few have the courage—or the clarity—to weave their personal story into their professional insight as boldly as Slovinsky does here. This book doesn’t just recount the experience of victimization; it explores the deep, layered effects of polyvictimization with empathy and intellect. Slovinsky masterfully blends lived experience with research and cultural analysis, inviting readers inside the mind of someone who is simultaneously enduring, observing, and understanding trauma. Both heartbreaking and hopeful, The New Normal is as much a guide for those navigating life after trauma as it is a mirror for those who support them. Survivors, advocates, and anyone seeking to understand the complex aftermath of abuse will find themselves deeply moved—and profoundly seen—within these pages.” -Jennifer Pollitt Hill, Executive Director of Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence “From the outset, Tammi Slovinsky pulls you into her world as a survivor of sexual violence but doesn't leave you stuck there, distraught by what you've read and feeling vulnerable. Instead, she weaves details about her own experiences into a rich fabric of stories, coping tools, and statistics that help explain our American culture of sex—both consensual and nonconsensual. Her candor about her own struggles as a survivor connect you to the crisis of sexual violence our country faces. As a domestic and sexual violence attorney for over 25 years, I wish I had had Dr. Slovinsky's memoir as a resource in my early career days. It would have helped me situate my work, my clients’ experiences, and my own story as a child witness to intimate partner violence into the greater context of who we are as Americans. And that would have made me a better lawyer and person.” -Susheela Varky, Director of the Center for Family Advocacy at Virginia Poverty Law Center (VPLC), Domestic and Sexual Violence Attorney “The New Normal: Life After Trauma is a powerful book that reminds us of both the deep impacts of trauma and further re-traumatization, as well as of the human capacity for healing and growth. Dr. Slovinsky builds on her own story, trauma theory, and the research to highlight how experiences of personal, historical, and vicarious trauma shape how individuals navigate through the world, particularly highlighting the impact on relationships and behavior. Her book weaves together personal stories and knowledge from the research and practice field to create a call for readers to embrace the need for a trauma-informed approach: acknowledging that trauma is more common than not and that we all have the ability to reduce the likelihood of unintentionally causing more harm by changing the way we respond to ourselves and others.” -Samantha Koury, Ed.D, LMSW, Co-Director of the University at Buffalo School of Social Work Institute on Trauma and Trauma-Informed Care, lead author of Trauma-Informed Organizational Change Manual

This Month's Events

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National Center for Victims of Crime Conference
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Tammi Kamin live at Byrd Cellars
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Visit the calendar in spring 2026 for upcoming book talks!

Hosting a Book Club? 
Consider the recommended questions below to spark conversation.

An image of book club questions available for download
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